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| jamesmay1983 |
 Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:34 am Post subject: Advice for DM needed... |
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Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Chattanooga, TN
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Hello,
I'm still relatively new on the scene of D&D. My gaming group consists of my wife and three of my friends from work. We all started playing together for the first time in May of this year. I was elected DM at the time we began and everyone seems to like how I run the game except for one guy. He thought he could do better, so I stepped aside to let him DM.
Although he is my friend, he is not very good at running games. The rest of the group is starting to get angry with him and is coming to me asking me to force him to step down and let me DM again. I definitely wouldn't mind being DM again, but I don't want to hurt my friend.
Sorry that this sounds like some kind of Dear Abby letter, but any suggestions?
Thanks,
~~JM |
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| Zherog |
| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:48 am Post subject: |
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Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Bensalem, PA
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Howdy, James. First, welcome to the hobby! It's great to hear new people are joining the game still.
As for your problem, I have a few things to suggest. You definitely need to talk to your friend, but you need to do it right. Don't be accusatory. Don't gang up on him. Point out something he does really well, not just the negative stuff. Have the group explain what they want to do different.
Is he bad at the rules? If so, maybe some more time as a player is a good thing.
Is he a rules stickler, and the group wants a little bit more loose game? That's tough (speaking as a rules stickler) but it can be overcome.
Is he brutal, making challenges that are way too hard? Maybe having everybody chip in to buy pre-made adventures is a good idea.
But basically, this is the sort of issue that the four of you should be able to sit down and discuss. You can, of course, volunteer to run the game again - either picking up where he left off or starting new characters.
What, specifically, is your friend bad at? What does he do that the rest of you don't like? Would the rest of you be willing to give him a chance to learn and grow, or do you all think it's better if he get replaced?
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John Ling
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| jamesmay1983 |
| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:11 am Post subject: |
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Joined: 03 Jan 2008
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Location: Chattanooga, TN
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Edit: I called my friend and expressed our groups concerns with him. He is going to finish up his current adventure (2 more sessions) and then allow me to DM again. He says he will try to DM again in the future once he gets some more player time under his belt.
Thanks,
James May |
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| Zherog |
| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: |
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Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Bensalem, PA
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The good news, I think, is that the problems you list are ones I've seen bunches of times on other forums when players talk about new DMs. So your friend isn't the first one down this path, and likely won't be the last.
Now, I see your edit as well. So the rest of the good news is that your friend was open minded enough to listen, and is willing to give a change a try. That's awesome.
The player vs DM mentality is quite common, especially for anybody who played back in 1e or 2e. That play style is fine, of course - as long as everybody has fun. That's true of any play style, though.
Your resolution is about the best you could get. Now, though, it's on you to show him a "different way." Show him that the game can be fun when the players and DM work together. Show him how a DM can smoothly transition when the players don't do as expected. Show him that it's OK for a player to use his class abilities to solve problems - and even that, sometimes, the DM should set up an encounter for just that purpose.
Good luck going forward! But it sounds to me like you've got a pretty solid group!
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| jamesmay1983 |
| Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 10:32 am Post subject: |
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Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Chattanooga, TN
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Thanks for all your help John.
~~JM |
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| varianor |
| Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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Joined: 06 Jan 2008
Posts: 602
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| Now there's a success story! Glad to hear it worked out. Hope you visit some more as you take up the mantle again. |
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| Bubba Ho-Tep |
| Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:25 am Post subject: |
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Joined: 02 Jan 2008
Posts: 131
Location: Frankfort, Kentucky
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| Always good to hear when things actually go well in those kinds of situations. |
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| Zherog |
| Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:31 am Post subject: |
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Joined: 03 Jan 2008
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Location: Bensalem, PA
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| Bubba Ho-Tep wrote: |
| Always good to hear when things actually go well in those kinds of situations. |
Indeed.
I frequent the "player problem" board over on the WotC forums, and this sort of thing comes up quite a bit - whether people are talking about their power-hungry DM, their newbie DM who doesn't know how to say no, or the player of the rogue who steals from the party.
The answer, in every case, is to talk it over like adults. James did just that, and got a fantastic resolution for his entire group.
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| The Gremlin |
| Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:36 am Post subject: |
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Joined: 07 Jan 2008
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Location: Corvallis, Oregon
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Wet's be fwends!
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