Issue #20
WINTER 2012
Halflings Speak Abyssal
by Wolfgang Baur
So I’ve been reading the Pathfinder RPG for a while, and there are a few things about it I absolutely love. One of them was the fact that halflings get Abyssal as a default language. The little buggers have always seemed sort of suspicious to me, frankly. Not as dour as a dwarf, not as funny as a gnome, just a little bit too damn apple-cheeked to be believed.
So, clearly, halflings are tools of the demonic world and should speak Abyssal. Imagine my crushing disappointment when I learned that this was a typo and would be corrected from the galleys I had. So sad, really.
But then I thought: HEY, someone at Paizo thinks halflings are demon spawn. I don’t know who, but they are clearly kindred spirits. And I swear, I may just have to make this canon in the Zobeck setting.
11 Responses to “Halflings Speak Abyssal”
It must be the taint of Frodo……
They probably think that kinder are the epitome of evil. I do.
Really, a halfling’s life carries a lot of sloth in it, so I’m not suprised.
Sold! Half-Fiend Halfling… next character for me!
Wow–nice! Paizo always puts a cool twist on familiar creatures! Their revision of Goblins is still one of my very favs–they even have a theme song!
I think current halflings ARE agents from the abyss! Hasn’t anyone else noticed that our ever so hungry, and slightly chubby, halflings are now these slender Jenny Craig clients?
It’s because they are DEMON SPAWN! They aren’t even halflings!
I once played an obese elf. You should have seen the incredulity in the faces of my fellow players. One even shouted “elves can’t be fat!”
I’ve also played a dwarven wizard with claustrophobia and a lawful good necromancer who animated undead for “research purposes”.
Thin halflings are NOTHING!
Infernal would have been better.
With all those skill points from levels in rogue, halfling adventurers are very likely to speak Abyssal. Here’s how it works.
DM: The inscription is written in a strange, ancient script. Does anyone speak Abyssal?
Halfling: Oh, huh. When I rolled up my character I forgot to pick languages! Can I choose one now as Abyssal?
DM: Sigh…
I have to say – I have no intention to play Pathfinder because I’m not crazy on 3.5′s mechanics – my groups don’t enjoy them, and I don’t like DMing them.
But I would seriously buy some system neutral stuff like this.
-neal
Heh – I once designed a race of Dark Hobbits, the descendants of Samwise the Strong in the alternate reality where he took the Ring and defeated Sauron.