Minion #7, leader of the Journeys to the Western Ocean project, has been called up to the big leagues! Yep, I’m pinch-hitting on the Kobold Quarterly magazine staff, batting for Editorial Assistant Christopher Bodan in KQ #21! I can already hear the roar of the crowds as I step up to the plate—or maybe that’s loud booing I’m hearing. Ah, either way, it doesn’t bother me. You can’t keep a good kobold down, after all. Heck, I’ll take your thrown tomatoes and make salad! So, ha!
Actually, you may already have been privy to a bit of my handiwork, as I did some pinch-editing in KQ #20. The Overlord just didn’t want you to know about it. He said something to the effect that he didn’t want an all-Christina issue of the magazine, so he omitted mention of Minion #7 in the mast. Can you believe that? To that I asked: What’s wrong with an all-Christina issue? Really? I just don’t see the problem. So now, as payback, I’m plotting to overtake the Kobold Courier for an all-Christina issue while the Overlord is not looking. But, hey, keep that between us. I don’t want him to know about that. It’s going to be a big, shocking surprise.
Also, I didn’t tell my Journeys crew that I was moonlighting for the Kobold Overlord on his publication, so they’re just finding out, too. Won’t they be surprised? While they were pumping out the bilge outside of the Burning Shores and patching up the holes those damned Umbrascan pirates made in our ship, I teleported away from my cabin to enjoy some relaxation and editing time in Barsella. I was sipping wine and inking pages while they were hard at work. No harm done. I even got back in time to help save the ship from that thalassic locathah clan. But, hey, that’s just all in a day’s work for bards like me.
I’m back with my crew now, of course, and we’re sailing the last leg of our trip. We’re posting some notes about our trip on the blog here, so keep a lookout for those tidbits. They might help you in your travels in the Western Ocean. And while we are out to sea, search for my name in the mast (it’s going to be in tiny, tiny print—I asked for 36-point font, but I was laughed at) in the upcoming Kobold Quarterly, which should be flying to your virtual or physical mailboxes this month or early April. Then write the Kobold Overlord to let him know if I did a good job or not, so maybe I can get a long-term gig.
Scratch that. Knowing what I know about #21, I doubt Minion #7 will be the topic of those letters to the editor. Oh, well.
(Artist: Peter Bradley)