Kobold Press

Batter Up!

Batter Up! (Artist: Peter Bradley)

Minion #7, leader of the Journeys to the Western Ocean project, has been called up to the big leagues! Yep, I’m pinch-hitting on the Kobold Quarterly magazine staff, batting for Editorial Assistant Christopher Bodan in KQ #21! I can already hear the roar of the crowds as I step up to the plate—or maybe that’s loud booing I’m hearing. Ah, either way, it doesn’t bother me. You can’t keep a good kobold down, after all. Heck, I’ll take your thrown tomatoes and make salad! So, ha!

Actually, you may already have been privy to a bit of my handiwork, as I did some pinch-editing in KQ #20. The Overlord just didn’t want you to know about it. He said something to the effect that he didn’t want an all-Christina issue of the magazine, so he omitted mention of Minion #7 in the mast. Can you believe that? To that I asked: What’s wrong with an all-Christina issue? Really? I just don’t see the problem. So now, as payback, I’m plotting to overtake the Kobold Courier for an all-Christina issue while the Overlord is not looking. But, hey, keep that between us. I don’t want him to know about that. It’s going to be a big, shocking surprise.

Also, I didn’t tell my Journeys crew that I was moonlighting for the Kobold Overlord on his publication, so they’re just finding out, too. Won’t they be surprised? While they were pumping out the bilge outside of the Burning Shores and patching up the holes those damned Umbrascan pirates made in our ship, I teleported away from my cabin to enjoy some relaxation and editing time in Barsella. I was sipping wine and inking pages while they were hard at work. No harm done. I even got back in time to help save the ship from that thalassic locathah clan. But, hey, that’s just all in a day’s work for bards like me.

I’m back with my crew now, of course, and we’re sailing the last leg of our trip. We’re posting some notes about our trip on the blog here, so keep a lookout for those tidbits. They might help you in your travels in the Western Ocean. And while we are out to sea, search for my name in the mast (it’s going to be in tiny, tiny print—I asked for 36-point font, but I was laughed at) in the upcoming Kobold Quarterly, which should be flying to your virtual or physical mailboxes this month or early April. Then write the Kobold Overlord to let him know if I did a good job or not, so maybe I can get a long-term gig.

Scratch that. Knowing what I know about #21, I doubt Minion #7 will be the topic of those letters to the editor. Oh, well.

Fair Winds!

(Artist: Peter Bradley)

 

10 Replies to "Batter Up!"

einherjar

March 22, 2012 at 12:16pm

Nice work Christina! Well done indeed…back on deck now Cap’n…;p

Jarrod Camiré

March 22, 2012 at 1:16pm

Hope you bring back some of that wine from Barsella with you on the ship…

Nice work!

Todd the Bladesmith

March 22, 2012 at 3:02pm

“So now, as payback, I’m plotting to overtake the Kobold Courier for an all-Christina issue while the Overlord is not looking. But, hey, keep that between us. I don’t want him to know about that. It’s going to be a big, shocking surprise.”

Shhh… he has spies *everywhere*.

Christina Stiles

March 22, 2012 at 3:25pm

Yep, back, Morgan, and ready to sail to the next island!

Um, Jarrod, sorry, but the wine mysteriously disappeared once I got it aboard…rum gremlins, I think…yeah, rum gremlins. Uh huh. That’s it.

Oh, and the Overlord says I did a good job, so you might be finding my name in the masthead for a good while. Assuming he doesn’t hear about my Courier plans, that is–Todd, keep an eye out for those spies. I can’t afford them ruining my plans!:)

Jarrod Camiré

March 22, 2012 at 5:08pm

Damn rum gremlins! Hey wait! Do we realy have rum gremlins on board?

Christina Stiles

March 22, 2012 at 5:54pm

Yeah, Michael was keeping them as pets.

Eddy

March 22, 2012 at 10:12pm

Curious, unless it is a clockwork ship why would gremlins be on board? Unless these gremlins like to tinker with knots, sail and line.

Redjack

March 22, 2012 at 11:53pm

Rum gremlins love booze more than mechanisms. I think they were posted here in a prior KQ blog installment. Fun critters.

Marc Radle

March 23, 2012 at 12:19pm

Knock ‘em dead, Christina!

Just remember, don’t cut anything of mine :)

James Thomas

March 23, 2012 at 8:17pm

Far out! Couldn’t happen to a better southern belle!

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