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Your Whispering Homunculus: 100 Obscure Professionals

Your Whispering Homunculus


“Again, slimesides, what now?”

“There is a woman at the door.”

“A woman? But it’s not Thursday.”

“No, no, master, another woman. This one is selling something.”

“Tell her to go away. I tire of interruptions.”

“But master, she claims to be the only black pudding-rearer this side of Glacierland!”

Let’s face it, some people have some pretty unusual jobs, and sometimes it’s hard not to be jealous of someone who seems to have an easy life or who is good at something no one else is. Conversely, it’s hard not to feel sorry that some have achieved their somewhat strange station in life in a job perhaps few would wish for.

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Your Whispering Homunculus—The Sticky End of Those Who Play With Fire

Your Whispering Homunculus


“Yes, Maggotlooks.”

“That jar next to the pickled dwarf eyes—”

“The one adjacent to the bladders?”

“Yes, master. What is that curious collection of distended and dislocated limbs pierced by shards of bones?”

“My last homunculus. He asked too many questions of the demon prince Sprathcrorsche, Prince of Dislocating Death. Now, lance this boil, and hurry up about it.”

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Your Whispering Homunculus—A Short Summary of the Fine Art of the Recurring Villain

Your Whispering Homunculus

“Master, someone just knocked at the door.”


“Sorry, master, I forgot myself. One moment, and I’ll go and see who it is.”

“Who is it, squidling?”

“My lord, it is Arch-Queen Xera, the Dark Princess of Dead-Wood, your nemesis.”

“Then show her in. This time, she shall not escape me.”

Many a memorable campaign has had at least one master villain who appears in more than just a single adventure. The main bad guy who comes back for more adds something to a long-running adventure path. A recurring villain gives your campaign, or a part of your campaign, a focus and a hate figure—someone on which you can hang whatever badness you wish, whether that is a feudal lord who takes land, a twisted warlock, or a serial killer who steals babies.

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Your Whispering Homunculus—Seasonal Scares

Your Whispering Homunculus



“Slush, ice, hail, blizzard. How lovely it all appears from in here, behind thick glass, whilst we sit by the roaring fire eating honey-roasted pig trotter.”

“Whilst you sit by the fire eating, great one. I have to content myself with blocking the gap in the window-frame with my posterior.”

“And so you should, maggot-sired, so you should. How lucky you are to be inside, however. Imagine if I decided suddenly on a whim to command you to sit outside…”

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Your Whispering Homunculus: The Undiscovered Bestiary—Ochre Jelly (Part 2)

Your Whispering Homunculus

Cloying Poison Ochre Jelly (CR 7)

This ochre jelly is almost certainly one of many that have been deliberately created by alchemists and poisoners. The cloying poison ochre jelly exudes a contact poison that is difficult to remove. The jelly poison affects not only those slammed by the creature, but also those who touch it.

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